9:31 PM

The month is coming to an end again, and oh boy, I can't believe how crazy these first weeks of 2021 have been. Exhausting, exciting, weird. It was a lot and I am happy that the days are getting a bit slower again and I can find back to my normal daily routines. 
What I love the most about the end of the month, is actually sitting down and taking care of my budget. I have always checked my money and I am very conscious about what I spend my money on, but this year, I want to take it a bit further. I worked on some special saving plans and I want to also grow my business a little bit of course.... let me dream. 

So many people around me, who might have the same financial background that I have, seem to not worry about their money and where it goes. Even budgeting is something I never really hear from people of my age. Am I the only nerd who loves to write lists and check out the numbers which rule my world?

What happened to our spending habits? What happened to our relationship with money? Did we ever have one? Or again, is it just me? 

Stability, a well-paid job, savings is this something we are all dreaming of or will it be a hustle culture forever? Who cares about saving when we can only make if from week to week? I got you. Especially now, during Covid, how can we be sure to have a certain amount of money when we don't know about the next months? Many people loose their jobs and every country is dealing with unemployment in a different way. For months, food banks are overwhelmed with too many people hoping to get some food to feed their families, because they don't have the money to support a household anymore. Again, do we really want to talk about a happy relationship with money? 

Well, I can' talk about you much, but I can talk about my situation. 
I am slowly becoming obsessed with money, because I finally start to understand how to deal with it. Yeah, sounds funny. I pay my rent, I pay my food, and I got my job which gives me a little stability right now.

But I am also a freelancer who has to hustle her ass off, because sometimes, I might not make a cent, or I even spend more, because I need props and gadgets. Freelancing ain't free and all this hustle feels sometimes priceless, too. 

This journey is crazy, but I only need to remind myself that everything is managable. That's it. When I started budgeting, I realized where all my money goes and I quickly worked on some spendings which wouldn't leave my bank account empty. I am addicted to books, for example, and buying myself second hand books was a huge relieve which makes me live my hobby a little more than once every 2 or 3 months. Meal prepping, indoor dining, or coffee from at home, is also a tiny step that can help you save so much. In the beginning we might not recognize it, but those baby steps will help us to develop a great sense of money and how to spend it right.

I just turned 30 and so far, I do not really think about a rent plan, nor have I had a conversation with a financial planner. I never invested my money into something and I have zero clue about the stock market or whatever you can do with your money. I just try to be a good spender without feeling to leave a good quality of life behind. Because that's my struggle - until today. I rather eat less in a week or I spend my money on the cheapest things, just to save a little money for the bad days ahead - one never knows... 

Covid gives me a hard time with anxiety and a lot of uncertainty. Maybe a little trigger that makes me think harder of my so well-organized budgeting. 

Again, in 2021, I am so ready to save some extra money which I will hopefully also be able to spend in NYC, once we can go travel again... but I also want to show myself that I am able to organize my life in a great way. It doesn't need to be perfect, and I still don't know a looot about money, but my budget gaming is something that belongs to my priorities and it gives me the zen I need to have one worry less on my mind. 

Money anxiety and money trauma is real and I believe many of us have a weird relationship with money. 

We definitely need to work on this and understand that we have to have a healthy relationship with money, but also a great respect and understanding of the power of it. 
My school never taught me much about money - I wish there was more support on that and also being a female and independant is also a thing which is still smiled about. There's so much to talk about, ugh.

A woman should never feel bad to have her life together. 
I am debt free, I am employed, and I am able to have a very intriguing creative side hustle - so far, I can not complain. 

I am still learning about money and let me put it like this: my relationship with it is okay, but I would agree that I could also do better. In the future, I would definitely continue with my budgeting and my perfect splitting for different occasions, but I also need a healthier relationship to it in general. This means, sometimes I want to not think twice about groceries or what I really crave right now. I respect the hustle behind every cent on my bank account, but the feeling of uncertainty does not make me feel positive and appreciative. It rather emphasizes anxiety - you see the circle. 

Adapting is a great word here. 

Times are always changing and things will never be the same... this world is moving and we are moving along, too, and so will my learning process do. It may go up, it may go down. I will get older and I will also have different situations in my life where I will rethink my spending habits again. That's life and I am getting ready for it step by step. I am surely not alone thinking like this (I hope so) and I want you to know that figuring it out is nothing bad. Let's figure it out together... 

How about you? Can we talk budget and finances or are you already lost after reading the title?