10:33 AM 

This needs to be written down, I want to publish this and the world to see it. 

Because it matters - to me.

I want to spread awareness, I want to release my joy, and I want to express my gratitude about this movie. 

This might be a love letter to Pete Docter, Dana Murray, and Kemp Powers. 

I am in love with movies, any category, but I am also picky. There are only a handful of movies which left a special mark after I watched them. The last love letter that I wrote was about Black Panther (this love note only landed in my journal...) but again, this here today needs to be spread. I want you to celebrate this work of art with me on so many levels. 

I actually just want to express my thanks. I feel so much right now that I am not able to completely sort my thoughts. I might lose it here and then...so bare with me. 

When I watched Soul's trailer for the first time, I was a bit angry. The internet celebrated Pixar's first black main character and Jazz being a big theme on the screen, when all that we got to see was this dude dying in the very early beginning. Why? Why would they kill the character so early? I was a angry and confused - what is this movie actually about? Weird story line and not a sexy way to invite me to watch the whole film. 

When the film was finally released on Disney+, Twitter people were writing that they were crying after 2 minutes and so on... I guess I was ready and I wanted to see and feel it, too. I am the biggest cry baby and I was ready to let loose. Well, after 1 hour and 19 minutes, I finally started to cry, too, and oh boy, what a relief it was. I was feeling a lot. I was processing a lot, and inside my body there was an emotional rollercoaster caught between many moments where I was just enjoying a great piece of art. 

Because that's what it is. Art. 

I don't need to write down how perfectly drawn this movie is.
The choice of colors... ughhh, the softness, the innocence, the inspiring before and the intriguing beyond - this is how death could really look like and I'd feel good about it. Let's not forget about Jerry - they are my secret crushs.
And then the choice of mentor characters, Carl Gustav Jung - really? ~ (faster heartbeats...), JAZZ!!!! there is no better music you could highlight than Jazz, NYC in all of its facettes, and then the fact that mental health is also a matter of fact here, too.

(I don't want to be a spoiler for you here.)

Soul is about a guy who's getting a second chance in life, using its full potential after learning some sweet lessons and understanding the principles of life on earth and everywhere in between. Sounds complicated? Yes, I know one could describe it better, but this is the best way to come close to my chorus of praise. 

It's easy to create a movie about a person who learns to appreciate and love life and taking chances - inspiring stories happen a lot, but what's with the beyond? Things that might not look as positive and colorful? 

What I want to focus on here is the way the film makes me feel. It must have touched me since I cried like a little baby. Why? Many reasons. 

One was the music. Again, and again. Starting with beautiful piano music from Joe to Dorothea's pure and so smooth saxophone playing. A moment of silence. Ohhhh and the dude singing in the subway? Oh lord...What can I say? I have always loved Jazz and I have always had a special relationship with Jazz. It's soothing, it helped me focus, studying, or just relax. Having a whole movie about Jazz is really sexy to me. The power of notes and melodies is so strong as you can tell when Joe is playing on the piano after he lined up 22's memories from the time spent together in NYC. The moment I had to cry... how beautiful it is that Jazz music is also not something for grown-ups only, Pixar portrays it so well that Jazz can be enjoyed by so many people and age groups. Just think about the school's Jazz band... this kind of passion is what every generation needs. I can't wait to continue listening to the soundtrack to use it as a perfect vibe to support my meditations. Didn't the music make you feel relaxed so many times throughout the movie? It's brilliant. 

Another one was teaching mindfulness and gratitude - my favorite attributes I always love to work on. I think this only came after watching the movie for the second or third time. You notice more things you haven't payed attention to during the first time watching. I watched Joe being a cat more closer and how he realized how 22 is living his life in the purest way with the littlest gestures. Listening to the barber and giving him attention and loving care, falling in love with a slice of pizza, feeling like a king and being a kid at the same time receiving a lollipop, touching and exploring the world around us... 22 experienced the most normal things to us for the first time, but it showed at the same moment how much more we need to show gratitude. Gratitude towards the things that can bring us joy. Gratitude to exploring the world and our home. And a lot of mindfulness in what we can do to make our daily a very special and not boring routine. Being mindful about how we interact with each other... and so much more. 

My favorite moment was when getting to know the lost souls. The dark beasts that run around, being literally lost and so off from this pastel world of hope, laughter, and dreams. When 22 turns to a lost soul, I can't hide my tears again. This place is so dark and the lost soul's bodies bring a flashback that puts goosebumps all over my body which won't leave.
When going through the darkest days of my depressions, I always wrote about it calling it the black hole or my dark cave. I lived in a world where it was dark and I created my own comfort zone in being just as black and scared as a lost soul from the Soul movie. I was screaming at my screen: how can this be? This is me. This is my world. Oh my god.
And then Joe jumps right into 22's dark shadow or coat and tries to talk to her. She sits there, being full of doubt, sadness, and disappointment in herself. Ughh, I feel with you, girl. I cried and I started to feel uncomfortable. To be honest, I realized this whole flashback really after watching the film. I felt it when I watched it, but the meaning came afterwards. 

How can Pixar be so smart and illustrate depression and mental health in a way that I have exactly felt? This is amazing. I still couldn't grasp what was going on, but my heart told me that this here is something big. Something so important. 

I sat down and wrote down some of my highlights, humming a melody I thought I remembered from the movie. 

I still don't know what to say... after so many words here, ha. 

I feel so thankful. I am happy. I am satisfied, I am fulfilled. Why? Because I feel seen. I feel heard and I love how good this so important and often negative covered topic can finally flip into something so positive and pure. Teaching young and old how this world is actually functioning. To the lost souls - you are not alone... to the Joes who save a lost soul, you are highly appreciated. And Moonwind, you have a special place in my heart, too. 

I hope this deep story with its 29653 facettes and very important life lessons will reach you somehow. 

To me, this movie will always be special and I want to thank the whole Pixar crew to be so bold and brave. How beautiful you are. How beautiful this is. 

How beautiful life can be. With and without lost souls... we can learn that no matter what happens, we can always find back to life and take the weakness and turn it into something stronger. Don't discriminate lost souls, and even more importantly lost doesn't mean you are lost forever. There's light out there for everyone. 

Thank you.

Pictures via.