9:03 PM It's the last day of 2019 and a decade comes to an end! An exciting and very weird decade if you ask me. I experienced a lot, went through a lot of ups and downs and finally landed on the right path which feel more than good.
I connected with myself, I healed, I smiled, and I loved. 

Most importantly, I connected with the world around me and realized what's important to fight for. 
I still spread love about mi oceans and I want people to take plastic pollution as serious as their selfie game on IG. I'm happy that sustainability became pretty popular at the end of this decade, but I hope that this "trend" will not be over soon.
That's why I am here. 

I want us to be more mindful.
Mindful about us, our behavior.
And mindful about Mother Nature. 

While I am having a pretty good life with less plastic and more green alternatives in Germany, I still seem to struggle finding a sustainable balance in NYC. 

During my very last trip, which lasted about 48h, I tried to test myself again. How much do I really consume and what can I do to not end up having thousands of plastic bottles and coffee cups? 
I did the test before. 

*Being on vacation, I sometimes feel too lazy to take many alternatives and helpers with me, because I really don't have the space in my carry-on. Often, I take too much stuff with me and I don't even need it. But then, I feel like I'm getting anxieties again, because I actually preach so much about our pollution issue and I act so complicated about it. 
It's a tough thing and I'm honest here...I struggle, but I learn. 
Don't judge, I know there's so much more I have to learn and understand. We all have to. 

So how did I do this time? 

Day 1. 
I had my refillable Klean Kanteen bottle with me and I was happy that I finally found places at the airport where I was able to refill my bottle. That was one of the first things I did when my feet touched NYC. Not rushing to get a coke, no Dunkin Donuts coffee or chai Starbucks. I stayed strong, even though the water tasted like something that was not water, haha. ✔️ I rushed to the city, checked into my hotel and I was craving a coke.... I stayed strong again and drank my water. Luckily, my hotel always serves free water in the room, so I was able to recharge. ✔️ Whenever I felt thirsty, I also decided to just eat instead of drinking... 
I was in such a rush that it was actually perfect to be running from one food place to the other and then being in a shopping marathon where I forgot to worry about my plastic bottle issues. 
This time, I didn't even have many fights with employees who were giving me tons of plastic bags.... I showed my Baggu bag and started a little monolog until they fell asleep ~ ✔️ 
You have no idea...I felt so good and I was so happy to be finally kicking plastic's ass in NYC... I was free and green! 
Until I went to Whole Foods... 

For my next day, I needed breakfast and I had a $20 Whole Foods giftcard which made me dream a little. I spent it for some cosmetic things, but also invested in my favorite matcha latte and a yogurt which I would eat for breakfast. Plastic and plastic, good job, K. There it was again... the plastic wave hit me and I was already scared of day #2. ✖️

Day 2. 
Yey, day number 2 was here and I was more than happy to be leaving soon again! NYC in 48h is insane and not healthy, yo! I started my day with my beloved plastic breakfast and forced myself to save half of my matcha latte for the next day when I'm at the airport... A little compromise to not spend another dollar on something plastic. ✖️✔️ I got ready to take a romantic walk through Central Park and on my way there I definitely wanted to check out Milkbar's new Flagship Store. Since I could never say no to Milkbar, I had to order a cereal milk latte (omg!!) which was handed to me in a plastic cup... shame on me here: my tumbler was in my hotel room!!!! ✖️ Carrying my cup to Central Park, I decided to take my waste home with me and plant a beautiful cactus into this perfectly sized flower pot. Yes, I upcycled my Milkbar cup! ✔️ Again, I felt motived to continue my to-do list which included a lot of shopping and just walking through my favorite city.
I ate some more and tried to refuse anything plastic someone would give me - this fight is exhausting, but I didn't give up. 
At the very end of the day, I treated myself with a visit at the Christmas market at Union Square - a dream coming true. So far I only knew the one at Bryant Park and I heard about a German booth at the one at Union Square. Christmas markest are biiiig in Germany, so I was really excited. And what should I say? The German booth was cuter than I thought... Authentic just like the one in my city... so I wanted to feel it as deep as possible and orderd myself a mulled-wine. In a plastic cup...fuckkk!✖️  
I was really mad at myself. This cup was more than cheap... and I was actually not the biggest fan of mulled-wine. I just thought it would be so perfect... a moment of home and a wonderful end for this little adventure. Yeah, it was great and the moment was pleasurable, but back in my hotel, I was really sad. I looked at my things and wondered why I can't survive without plastic for 48 hours. 
What was wrong? 

Well there's nothing wrong with me. 
I can't blame myself 100%. Of course it's my choice and my mood... but to be honest,  I don't feel a lot fo support in NYC. 

While I can easily walk around in Germany with my brain off, I am fully under pressure in NYC. What do I eat? Where do I go? What's a sustainable alternative? And then the discussions about plastic bags at the register - every damn time. This takes a lot of energy and fun. 

I am not discouraged to keep fighting, but I know I have to change some more things. 
I started well and I'm proud of myself whenever I realize that I was strong in a certain moment. 
There were moments where I should have acted differently, but I also want to enjoy my vacation without saying no all the time. That's the problem... 
I said it before. It's a "we thing"... we need to find solutions. 

I keep on studying.
I will be better.
I will do better.
2020. Can we change some things? Are you down?

A happy new year to everyone who is reading OFF COLOR and supporting this baby! Reading my stories and connecting like this feels more than good and I am happy to have built such a bright and loving community! 
Let's stay strong in 2020 and focus on the things that matter!
We are growing together - I love this about you lovebirds! Thank you for your love!